My Pre-Teen Daughter is Much More Popular Than your Pre-Teen Daughter

by Susan Hamilton

As I was pulling my Mercedes SUV into the posh, organic market the other afternoon, I was overcome by sheer joy. As a mother, there are certain moments in your life in which you are overtaken by sheer emotion. They are powerful experiences; If memories were department stores, they would probably be Nordstrom’s during a Memorial Day sale. These are the moments that you will remember forever, moments that dreams are made of. For example, the first time you hold your child, nubile and innocent, as it takes its first breath. You look upon the perfection that you have created, with knowledge that you truly have produced a blonde haired, blue eyed, above average infant, who will eventually excel at private school, both socially and academically. And as a mother, who doesn’t remember exactly where they were when their children uttered their first word? I still remember what handbag I was carrying when my daughter opened her big blue eyes, looked up lovingly, and mumbled our Spanish babysitter’s name; “Rosalita”. It’s a joy that only a mother knows.

I had such a moment the other day. I was overcome with sheer joy when I realized that my pre-teen daughter is much more popular than your pre-teen daughter. Last month, my pre-teen daughter made the all-star traveling soccer team, was extended the lead role in Fredrick Middle School’s rendition of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Cats”, and started a Spanish after school program. She also managed to get asked out to seventeen social functions: five birthday parties, seven sleep overs and five movie dates. That’s an average of 4.25 events a weekend!
Your pre-teen daughter, on the other hand, tried out for the Fredrick Middle School marching band and got offered to play the tuba. But it was only by default: she tried out for flute, but lost first chair to my daughter’s best and most popular friend, Eliza. Tuba was the only instrument left that wasn’t taken. No one, and I mean NO ONE, wants to play or be associated with anything involving a tuba.

The next order of business: Clothes. My daughter is at the height of pre-pubescent fashion; a regular juvenile J-Lo. A couple of key words being thrown around the FMS hallways concerning my daughter’s wardrobe: Trendy, Cool, Sassy, Hott (not the Stephanie Tanner version, the Paris Hilton version). ALL the boys in the yard want her milkshake. Your daughter on the other hand, shops at target. Enough said.

As much as I'd love to sit and keep chatting about how much more popular my pre-teen daughter is than your pre-teen daughter, my pre-teen daughter has a pool party to attend. I'm sure your in a rush as well. Oh wait: your pre-teen daughter wasn't invited. Well, Ta-Ta!