by Cindy Martin
I’ve been under the impression for years that acting dumb was way cute. So I was floored by Paris’ Statement to Barbara Walters over the weekend that she was going to stop acting dumb because it's 'not cute'. I mean, puppies are like waaaaay cute and they aren’t that intelligent I don’t think. That kid from “Life Goes On” was super cute. Plus, anything small is cute: puppies, babies, horses, midgets. And they all don’t act ‘smart’. End of conversation.
Like I was saying, I was voted number two most popular girl in my school, which means I’m like super cute. I couldn’t tell you where Iraq is, but honestly, who cares? Trick question: No one. Everyone cares about Paris and the seriousness of her being in Jail. Just look at the front page of New York Times Online. And they know what’s important. You can’t have the princess of hotels locked up in some poorly lit, dingy cell with normal people. That’s ridiculous. She’s probably delirious at this point, hence why she’s saying crazy things like ‘acting dumb isn’t cute’.
Girls have been acting dumb for years to get attention from boys. Just the other day, I was driving to my friend’s place. I just got my license last month, btw This guy thought I was sooo cute that he was like yelling and shaking his fist and getting all red in the face. He said something about some sign with an arrow on it pointing the other way. Translation: I’m SUPER cute.
There are serious problems that could arise if Smart was Cute. If Paris started acting smart, it would like make smart hott. And if smart was hott, then everyone would start acting smart. Then there would be all these smart people and it would probably rip a hole in the ozone layer. And if the ozone layer disappears then the ice caps would melt and penguins would die. Penguins are sooooooo cute. Paris, unless you hate penguins, which you probably don’t because no one can really hate penguins, except maybe that guy that chases around Chilly Willy on Woody the Woodpecker, then you shouldn’t be saying ridiculous things like acting dumb isn’t cute. You will just kill penguins.
Like I was saying, I was voted number two most popular girl in my school, which means I’m like super cute. I couldn’t tell you where Iraq is, but honestly, who cares? Trick question: No one. Everyone cares about Paris and the seriousness of her being in Jail. Just look at the front page of New York Times Online. And they know what’s important. You can’t have the princess of hotels locked up in some poorly lit, dingy cell with normal people. That’s ridiculous. She’s probably delirious at this point, hence why she’s saying crazy things like ‘acting dumb isn’t cute’.
Girls have been acting dumb for years to get attention from boys. Just the other day, I was driving to my friend’s place. I just got my license last month, btw This guy thought I was sooo cute that he was like yelling and shaking his fist and getting all red in the face. He said something about some sign with an arrow on it pointing the other way. Translation: I’m SUPER cute.
There are serious problems that could arise if Smart was Cute. If Paris started acting smart, it would like make smart hott. And if smart was hott, then everyone would start acting smart. Then there would be all these smart people and it would probably rip a hole in the ozone layer. And if the ozone layer disappears then the ice caps would melt and penguins would die. Penguins are sooooooo cute. Paris, unless you hate penguins, which you probably don’t because no one can really hate penguins, except maybe that guy that chases around Chilly Willy on Woody the Woodpecker, then you shouldn’t be saying ridiculous things like acting dumb isn’t cute. You will just kill penguins.
Paris Talks to Barbara Walters: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article1916807.ece
Front Page Article, June 8th 2007
Chilly Willy:
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